Words of the Sun

[Sunsinger]

[Feel free to leave your comments or thoughts. I love seeing what other people think of Sun's musings. This is also a good place to OOCly discuss RP ideas. o.0 ]

I have three for the mission - that's honestly more than I expected. Even more unexpected is that one of the three is Takaii, who's volunteered himself and his crew. I guess that leaves me, Tou, and Sael to be the dive team. I've tested all the gear and it works like a charm. If Tak can keep his zeppelin in a regular pattern over the bay, this should be far easier than I imagined. If I have to dump all illusions in this process, or if the gem strips me of them for some reason, then hopefully these recruits are trustworthy and won't...you know. Kill me on sight, at the least. Hopefully they'll also keep their mouths shut, but I accept the possibility that in seeking this artifact, it could mean my death in more ways than one.

I'm worried about Sael though. I see him brooding, I hear rumors. I see something flickering in the back of his eyes - and it's not a bad thing. It looks like a ray of sun trying to come through the clouds he's shut over his gaze. I know he's had a snit with Erelle and he's had some problems with the regiment, but honestly I doubt that's more than superficial. I mean to talk with Erelle anyway. All of her troops kowtow to her and I know it pisses her off. Yours truly will, apparently, need to be the person who smacks her upside the head as a friend and not a minion. I always did work best with said degree of freedom, and I did promise her I wouldn't do what she says unless I too agree with it. Heh.

As for Sael, I'm gonna try and poke him during the mission. Perhaps, if he sees my research, hope might rekindle itself in his heart - or at least an inkling of it. There's always hope. You just have to hone your powers of observation. I find it hopelessly ironic that me, a bumfuck orphan who got abandoned by the elves she loved, has to drill this message into other people. I suppose it lends a purpose to my suffering. Have to say, it makes it a lil' easier to swallow.

Speaking of elves I love, I don't know where in the bloody blue blazes Jaeger is. I'm sure he's fine, he's prone to disappearing. But Kiri hasn't seen her mate in a while, so perhaps he and Jae are out honing themselves. With his own wyvern I doubt any arakkoa bums have a chance to one-up Jae this time. And if they do...well. I'll be feeding the Regiment a home-cooked meal of fried chicken, on the house.

[Sunsinger]

So Erelle signed on, which makes me happy. That's several people I already know and trust - made it easier saying no to that warlock, too. I've no interest in getting my prize snagged from me at the very end by some mad fel-addict. Too much counts on this, too many people. I'm taking as few chances as I can.

Yeah, I could be nicer. But I don't know Az that well. Yet.

Tou and Erelle finally got their acts together! IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME YOU TWO!! Oi oi oi. I can't wait to get back to Silvermoon and get all the juicy details. Yes, I have ovaries. Gasp. Deal with it.

Still wanna poke at Sael. Also sent Erelle a message she's probably not gonna be happy about. Like it or not though, the Regiment is gonna hafta deal with it. We take out Kael, and a whole chain reaction of culture and politics will follow. We need to be prepared to deal with that, or else we're just as bad as the fallen Sun Prince.

On a happier note...I think Kiri's eggs are gonna hatch real soon! I'm going to have seven - count them, SEVEN - wyvern cubs on my hands. I honestly don't know if I'm gonna have time for it, but I'll do my best to be an 'auntie'. Might poke a few of the more skilled animal-handlers in the Regiment to give me a hand. Wyverns are sentient and all, but seven rambunctious youngsters with venom-tipped tails is a wee bit much, even with Kiri and her mate helping out.

[Sunsinger]

Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one holding it together.

Erelle worries me, although that's nothing really new. There's too much crammed up in her head and bleeding out of her heart for her to really stop and take a deep breath. Hell, I think if she did she'd go mad. But it's hard to heal and rest on the run. I hope she understands that I meant what I said, when I said I was behind her.

Am I the only one who sticks to her word anymore?

I think I talked some sense into Toumar, thank the Goddess. Have yet to see how all that turned out.

It's hard to be the one isle of sanity in this conglomerate - especially when people rely on you to be INsane half the time. Yet they don't understand what I am. Sane, insane, none of it really applies in the end - they're all a part of what I am. I am what is needed in any given situation, simple as that. But sometimes I'm scared that if nothing is needed...I won't be needed. If nothing is needed, I wouldn't know how to be.

Not that I ever let that stop me or lose sleep over it.

I'll adapt. I always do. One of the perks of having human blood. We're remarkably resilient critters. I may be more bitter now than I was a few years ago, but innocence is always the price of wisdom. Since that wisdom is benifitting the people now - at least I hope it is - it puts all that pain in perspective. I'm glad I didn't go through that hell for nothing.

Sometimes I think that they resent me, though. That they thrive on the chaos to a degree, and when I come and mediate it they get all bent out of shape. It just never gets anything DONE, freaking out one way or the other. I can't stand wasted energy. Either do something and get it done, or put the issue aside. Stop running in circles about it. If you can't, find someone that can help you. If people understood this, I swear half the problems of the sin'dorei would be solved. Put a limit on your damned self-loathing and self-indulgent despair and get to work.

This is why I appreciate Erelle.

But we face a problem. The sin'dorei need a new kind of leader. With Kael'thas gone, they need a new role model - someone to look up to, to emulate in society. Since Erelle was responsible for Kael's death, it logically falls to her to be that example. Unfortunately the concept scares her - and half the Regiment is so unstable that they could in no way be what the people need. Erelle has the backbone for it, but she loathes herself too much to accept that mantle without a bit of work on her part. I swear, if she didn't have such a low opinion of herself, her drinking and her violence would clear up in and of themselves because she'd see she's better than all of that. I hope I can make her see it, but her current company and friends are quite counter-productive to such a goal. I doubt, with them, that Erelle could control herself even in leisure. You'd be surprised at how much rumors spread, and her cohorts would undermine her in that respect.

So who is going to lead Silvermoon? I really think it has to be Erelle. While I think as a public face I could do a very good job, I'm not narcissistic enough to suggest myself as the social leader of the sin'dorei. I make mistakes, I have a human's temperament. I'm also only 28 bloody years old. Quick-witted though I am, I know there are intricacies of elven society I'm still oblivious to, and which will inevitably bite me in the butt if I were to take a title of that gravity for any length of time.

Would I be willing to try? Certainly. Would people think to raise me to that level?

I'm the semi-distant advisor to the captain of the Netherbright Regiment with a penchant for polymorph people that piss me off. I think not.